Brain science emerged at the same time that Relational Life Therapy became popular, and neuropsychologists were impressed with the limbic system activation and neural pathways that it created in the prefrontal cortex which allow rapid change in a clients insight and perspective.

RLT focuses on understanding and improving our relationships with ourselves and others, while traditional talk therapy typically centers on individual psychological concerns.

RLT views our early attachment experiences as crucial to understanding our current patterns of relating to others, while traditional talk therapy may not place as much emphasis on attachment theory, and other models may primarily focus on teaching attachment and not add the coaching necessary for creating new patterns for connection.

RLT often incorporates experiential techniques such as role-playing, empty chair work, and mindfulness exercises to help clients access, explore and process their emotions and relational patterns. Traditional talk therapy may rely more on discussion and exploration of thoughts and feelings, cognitively only.

RLT emphasizes the importance of being present in the moment and paying attention to the dynamics of the therapeutic relationship as they unfold in real-time. Traditional talk therapy may be more focused on exploring past experiences and their impact on the present.

RLT takes on a coaching role, providing guidance and feedback to the client in their exploration of relational patterns and dynamics, while traditional talk therapy often emphasizes self-exploration, with the therapist serving as a supportive listener and facilitator of the client’s own process of understanding themselves. The therapist in RLT will give specific techniques and exercises to help the client develop new relational skills, while in traditional talk therapy the therapist may help the client develop insight into patterns and beliefs that may be contributing to their difficulties.

Designed to bring deep healing and swift changes that last
You can’t connect to a relationship if you can’t connect to a person, and you can’t connect to a person if you can’t connect to yourself. RLT first reconnects people to themselves—their feelings, desires, and needs—and then reconnects them to their relationships.

What makes RLT unique is…
• Lasting Change
Traditional therapy heals through nurture, but this isn’t enough for permanent change. RLT goes even further, equipping people with the lifelong relational skills they need for lasting change.
• Swift Results
Letting therapy drag on can be detrimental to clients, especially those in crisis. RLT uses a powerful combination of techniques to quickly get to the root of negative behaviors, understand where they came from, and teach individuals how to change them.
• Dramatic Transformations
The idea that character is fixed is outdated. Character is changeable, and through RLT, we can teach people to transform negative beliefs and behaviors, often dramatically and sometimes immediately.
• Healing Trauma in the Partner’s Presence
In traditional therapy, trauma work is done individually. But opening up such levels of vulnerability in their partner’s presence helps people go much deeper for more remarkable transformations.
• Tackling Shame and Grandiosity
Modern therapy often focuses on bringing people up from shame. RLT is concerned with both shame and grandiosity to help couples achieve healthy levels of self-esteem—working with both is necessary for relationships and individuals to heal.
• Radical Honesty
We don’t shy away from directly but compassionately telling clients what they’re doing to harm their relationships. We tell them what to do in certain situations so they can have a corrective emotional experience with their partner over and over.
• We Take Sides
Often, therapists remain neutral, never siding with one partner. But relationships are rarely 50/50, so in RLT, we explicitly side with the disempowered partner to restore balance in the relationship.
• Therapists and Clients Are Equal
In RLT, therapists aren’t above clients as experts, nor are we simply facilitators. We’re right there in the thick of it with them, sharing our own experiences of relational living to inspire, motivate, and build trust.